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ONE WOMAN ASKED RAV SCHEINBERG WHAT THE HUSBAND’S obligation is in helping around the house and clearing the table. He responded, “It is said in the name of Rav Chaim Vital, the great Kabbalist and student of the Arizal, that the husband’s chesed will be measured according to how he treats his wife. If he does not do kindness with his wife and is lacking chesed at home, his acts of kindness with other people are insignificant. We tell him: ‘If a needy person would ask for your help, you would certainly help him. So why don’t you also help your wife?’ But the wife should not shrug off her responsibilities. If she is tired, then of course the husband should lend a hand. But if she can do whatever needs to be done, then she should not waste his time that he could use to learn.”
RAV SCHEINBERG WOULD SING A LULLABY TO HIS CHILDREN before they went to sleep at night: To watch over you when a baby,
To sing you to sleep with a song,
To comfort and cheer you and always be near you,
To teach you the right from the wrong,
To do all she can, to make you a man,
And over a million things more,
To sigh for you, cry for you, and always try for you,
That’s what Hashem made mothers for.
WHEN RAV SCHEINBERG WAS ASKED WHICH MITZVOS should be encouraged in the household in order to increase yiras Shamayim, he replied: “Yiras Shamayim means being afraid to transgress any of His commandments. When you fear someone, you won’t do anything that goes against his wishes. Increase kvod haTorah and you will increase your yiras Shamayim. If you increase Torah study and the respect and honor given to Torah, you automatically increase your yiras Shamayim. Torah, more than anything else, brings a person closer to the Almighty.”
“I have set the Almighty before me always” (Tehillim16:8). He adds that this is a basic principle of Torah and a virtue of tzaddikim. Such constant awareness is an exceptional achievement. It requires many years of effort. If so, does it really belong at the beginning of the Code of Jewish Law? We teach our children about this mitzvah, an accomplishment that David achieved! We hope to reach such heights of devotion after many years of intensive, wholehearted learning and loyal service to the Almighty. How could we begin the Code of Jewish Law with such a lofty and comprehensive mitzvah? In response to these questions, Rav Yeruchem, the mashgiach of the Mir Yeshivah in Poland, explained, “True, to acquire this virtue will take a lifetime, but the ambition to achieve it must begin right away.” Great and lasting achievements take time and effort; therefore, we must start as early as possible. We cannot wait until we are 80 years old to begin to achieve this great accomplishment. If we wait until old age, it is far too late. We must begin as early as possible. We are not born great, but we can become great. Gradually, one day after the next, we become great. Intentionally then, this is the beginning of the Code of Jewish Law: we must strengthen ourselves to rise in the morning to serve the Creator!
RAV SCHEINBERG WAS WELL-KNOWN FOR WEARING multiple pairs of tzitzis – as many as 175 at a time – which he described as “15 to 20 kilo of mitzvos.” He did not view them as a burden, but as a privilege.
WHEN HIS TALMIDIM WOULD ASK HIS ADVICE, RAV Scheinberg would often say, “…[Did you come to ask me or did you come to tell me?]” He always encouraged his talmidim to look at every situation objectively. Rabbi Binyomin Field, who learned in the kollel of Torah Ore in Jerusalem, shared a story. I had been offered the opportunity to give a shiur five nights a week at a baal teshuvah yeshivah. Although I wished to continue learning, I didn’t want to pass up the chance to break into the kiruv world in Israel. I felt that I needed to ask daas Torah and went to the rosh yeshivah. He said that my own growth needed to come first, and that even my daytime sedarim would suffer if I had to be out late at night and needed time during the day to prepare the shiur. I remember ‘explaining’ to the rosh yeshivah the importance of kiruv, and how I felt my growth wouldn’t suffer. His response stopped me cold: ‘Binyomin, are you asking me or telling me?’
